Nígbà kan, iṣẹ́ àyáyá kan wà ní ilé-ìkànsí àtàwọn ẹka ẹlẹ́wà nínu Downtown Brooklyn. Ó jẹ́ ilé-ìkànsí ẹlẹ́wà, kún fún ìmọ́lẹ̀ àti ìtura. Ẹ̀ka rẹ̀ dára pẹ̀lú ìtụ́na irin aláwọ̀kí-ìtẹ́ àti pátákó gàsì tó péye, tí ó kó lábẹ́ ìbáṣepọ̀ bọ́ńtí àkẹ́lúra ìjẹun, níbi tí a ti le ní ìjẹun àti ìmúṣé nínú, pẹ̀lú ìjẹun tí a ṣe pẹ̀lú àwọn ... ọdún mẹta (MẸTA!) Trader Joe's tó wà nítòsí... tabi Whole Foods.

Ó ní ìyàlẹ́nu pẹ̀lú àwọn ìlà èlò rẹ, àfiyèsí pẹ̀lú ipò àyè, àti yàrá-ìdánà tó tóbi tó fún matiresi tó péye. Síbẹ, kò sí ohun tó le fi tọ́ka sí ànfàní rẹ̀ tó fẹ́ràn: ilẹ̀ ìmúra bọtìṣó. Ṣé ohun kan wà tó ṣe pàtàkì ju àtọkànwá pé kí ìkà rẹ rí ìtọ́jú to dára nigbati o bá n fọ́ ẹnu rẹ?

Ṣùgbọ́n ohun kan wà tó jẹ́ ìṣòro: ó ń ṣàníyàn. O rí, ìyá àti bàbá ń gbe ní ibè míràn, àti pé kòsí ẹnikan tó wà níbẹ láti bá a ṣe àjọṣe. Ó jẹ́ ilé-ìkànsí tó ní ọ̀rẹ́ púpọ̀, ṣíṣí fún mejeji ìrù ẹran mẹta àti oníbàárà (èyí ni ènìyàn àti awọn ohun èlò). Ó wà ní ipò tó péye nínu ọ̀kan nínú àwọn agbègbè tó dára jùlọ ní Brooklyn, mẹ́ta ìsẹ́jú rìn láti ibùdó ọkọ ayọ́kẹ́lẹ́ Jay Street/Metrotech, àti tó sunmọ Boerum Hill àti Park Slope láti fún ni ìmọ̀ àdúgbò tó jẹ́ ohun tó jẹ́ kí Brooklyn wúni lẹ́nu fún púpọ̀lọ́pọ̀.

Tí iwọ àti rẹ̀ bá ṣi jẹ́ àwọn tó kóko (nígbà míràn, àìkúnkùn díẹ̀ jẹ́ ìlera), gbogbo àṣayan wà. Iwọ le ṣere ere ìòkò nínú yàrá ìmọ́tótó tó péye, àti bóyá ṣe àtúnṣe lọ sí yàrá eré kan láti yọ́ kálàrí tó bẹ́ẹ̀ tí o jẹ́ tí a fi kó sórí ilana ti o ṣẹ́gun nínú àwọn ile oúnjẹ to ṣe pataki, gẹ́gẹ́ bí Gage & Tollner tàbí... O mọ... Chick-fil-A, tí èyí bá jẹ́ ohun tí o fẹ́. Kò sí ìdáàmú (àfi tí o bá fẹ́ jẹun ní Ọjọ́ Àìkú).

Báyìí, o ni àǹfààní láti jẹ́ kí ó di ilé-ìkànsí ayọ̀, tí ó dára lẹ́ẹ̀kan sì i. A ó rí i pé ó máa mú inú rẹ dùn, gẹ́gẹ́ bí ó ti ṣe fún ìyá àti bàbá rẹ lọ́jọ́ pípẹ́ tí wọ́n ti wà níbẹ.

Tí iwọ tàbí ẹnikẹ́ni tó mọ̀ ní ìmọ̀lára fún àwọn ohun tó jẹ́ aláìlera, bá wa sọrọ lónìí kí a le lọ ṣàbẹ̀jù्शन rẹ papọ̀! O mọ̀ pé o fẹ́.

Once upon a time there was a 1-bedroom apartment in a beautiful condo in Downtown Brooklyn. She was a beautiful apartment, full of light and warmth. Her kitchen shone with the sparkle of stainless steel appliances and a full-size gas stove, abutted by a granite-topped breakfast bar where meals and entertainment could be had in spades, with meals made of groceries purchased from one of the TWO (TWO!) nearby Trader Joe's...es(?), or Whole Foods.

She was so proud of her clean lines, efficient use of space, and bedroom large enough for a king-size mattress. However, none of that compares to her favorite feature: heated bathroom floors. Is there anything more important than making sure your feet are nice and toasty while you're brushing your teeth?

But there was one problem: she was lonely. You see, mom and dad were living somewhere else, and nobody was there to keep her company. She's such a very friendly apartment, open to both bi- and quadrupedal inhabitants (that would be humans and pets). She is perfectly situated in one of Brooklyn's best neighborhoods, a five minute walk from the Jay Street/Metrotech subway stop, and close enough to Boerum Hill and Park Slope to offer that real neighborhoody vibe that is what makes Brooklyn so attractive to so many.

If you and she are ever on the outs (sometimes a little distance is healthy), options abound. You can play the laundry game in the state-of-the-art laundry room, and maybe take a quick detour to the building gym to work off the calories you just ingested at one of the phenomenal nearby restaurants, such as Gage & Tollner or...you know...Chick-fil-A, if that's your thing. No judgment (unless you like to eat on Sunday).

Now, you have the opportunity to make her a happy, fulfilled apartment once again. And in turn, she will make you just as happy as she's made her mom and dad for as long as they'd lived there.

If you or someone you know has empathy for inanimate objects, contact us today and we'll go visit her together! You know you want to.